Here’s how to play:

• Attach 3,000,000 volt tasers to your gloves
• Remove any rules
• Try not to kill each other (or the ref) on your path to victory

Here’s a promo video that may pique your interest…and make you cringe.

Click here to view the embedded video.

To learn more about the sport that is currently banned in all 50 U.S. states, head over to MiddleEasy. You’ll be glad, or sad, that you learned all about Shock Fights.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Main card
Cheick Kongo vs. Paul Buentello
Junior Dos Santos vs. Gabriel Gonzaga
Brandon Vera vs. Jon “Bones” Jones

Undercard
Eric Schafer vs. Jason Brilz
Mike Pierce vs. Julio Paulino
Brendan Schaub vs. Chase Gormley
John Howard vs. Daniel Roberts
Eliot Marshall vs. Vladimir Matyushenko
Clay Guida vs. Shannon Gugerty
Alessio Sakara vs. James Irvin

Dana White tweeted the news last night to his one million followers on Twitter and hyped the main and co-main events.

Versus and DirecTV were unable to reach an agreement for six months as they battled over money issues and/or channel placement. Versus will return to channel 603 on the DirecTV network.

And you thought the Jersey Shore people were bad?

Props to Card on the MMA.tv UG Forum for finding this. Speaking of which, how did he find this?

The weight classes and round lengths are similar to the unified MMA rules and small 7 ounce gloves are used, but with the lack of the ground game, this is nothing like MMA and more like kickboxing with trips. You can catch the action at the Essex County College Sports Center in Newark, New Jersey on April 17th if you’re interested in the latest form of combat.

I won’t go too in depth of how ridiculous I think this is, you can check out Instinct Fighting for yourself over at their web site. Will this last?  Maybe for a couple events until people realize that this isn’t the “ultimate fighting” they see on Spike TV.

Alright, as a disclaimer, this post is going to sound excessively grouchy. Maybe that’s because I’ve already used up most of my weekly allowance of optimism on

I have a lot of friends who pick my brain about women’s MMA, especially because most of us are Strikeforce fans (they host promotions locally) and the introduction of women’s MMA in Strikeforce has definitely brought it into the consciousness of central and northern Californians who hadn’t really seen chicks fight until they saw Gina Carano (7-1 MMA). I’m glad that casual fans are interested. It’s great for women’s MMA, and given that I really like women’s MMA, I see it as a good thing.

There’s one subject that comes up an awful lot, though, and that’s Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos (9-1 MMA). I don’t mind talking about Cyborg. I like Cyborg. I think she’s a beast of a fighter, exciting to watch and really committed to MMA (which, honestly, can’t be said for everybody in MMA, male or female). But, for the most part, it’s not a conversation about how good Cyborg is, how her next matchups look and how long she’s going to hold onto the belt. It’s about how she looks, and that irritates me.

The double standard speaks for itself, and maybe it’s not totally out of place. It’s good to have a good looking spokesperson for a sport as it comes up. It was definitely helpful for MMA that Ken Shamrock didn’t look like Tank Abbott. It was definitely helpful that Rich Franklin is, as an ex-girlfriend once put it, pretty damn fine. It helps because charisma and good looks sell the sport. It seems disproportionate on the women’s side of things, and it probably is.

Here’s what bothers me, though:

Casual fans of MMA think that women’s MMA would be better off with a pretty face with solid skills than with someone like Cyborg, who’s appeal rests solely inside of the cage. That’s just not the case.

There will be charismatic spokespeople for women’s MMA. There are a number of excellent female fighters (especially in the lighter weightclasses) who can be both impressive in the cage and keep the attention of the skeptical outside of the cage, fighters who can sell the product to those who need to be sold. Rosi Sexton (10-1 MMA) is pretty much a female Rich Franklin, as far as I’m concerned; she’s smart, a monster in the cage and has the looks.

Cyborg doesn’t need to sell the product. She can (and will) be the competitor that everyone sort of knows about, and that the fans want to see in the cage, because of the performance she puts on.

Now, my friends who are casual fans always come back to the argument that Cyborg may turn away fans who are looking for something different (by which I assume they mean something between submission grappling and soft-core porn, though they tend to speak of it more euphemistically than that). To those fans, I will say what I have said to fans who want a ton of smack talk from the champs like Lyoto Machida and Anderson Silva: MMA is not for you. Professional wrestling is probably more your speed.

We have smack talk in MMA. And there are some absolutely gorgeous women in women’s MMA (those who’ve talked to me about women’s grappling know that I have a schoolboy crush on a particular competitor).

But the draw isn’t the gorgeous women. The draw for women’s MMA is the same as the draw for men’s MMA. If the gender of the competitors distracts from the fight, then that’s a real problem for the viewer, and I’m not entirely sure I have a solution for that person, but (personally) I’d rather have an exciting, explosive fighter in the top position than someone who can look good in the pre-fight press conference and brings mediocrity to the cage.

In the cage, I’m looking for the clean left hook and the suplex, and I don’t really care if the fighter can do a centerfold for Playboy.

Of course, we all laugh at the discussion of Pudzianowski jumping to the top of the contender ladder, and we should. The caricature of a staredown between Pudzianowski and Lesnar is a comic-book artists wet dream, but what’s interesting is that, for the first time in a while, there really is a serious contender ladder in the UFC heavyweight division.

It’s hard not to recognize that there are at least four solid contenders for the UFC heavyweight title, at the moment. Three are on sizable win streaks, all with wins over major opponents, and one holds a 1-1 split with Lesnar in a series that has consisted of three very high profile title fights. Two of those competitors are fighting for the interim belt, so Lesnar will fight the winner of that bout for sure. Both Frank Mir (13-4 MMA, 11-4 UFC, #3 IWMMAR) and Shane Carwin (11-0 MMA, 3-0 UFC) are deserving competitors for the interim belt, and both will make for incredibly exciting matchups with Lesnar, when the time comes to unify the belts.

Cain Velasquez (8-0 MMA, 6-0 UFC, #4 IWMMAR) has finally cracked the top five with a huge win over Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (32-6-1-1 MMA, 3-2 UFC, #5 IWMMAR) and is now (as the record indicates) on a 6-0 run in the UFC with three wins over solid opponents. A win over a debuting Ben Rothwell (30-7 MMA, 0-1 UFC) is not that big a deal by itself, but sandwiched between a solid win over a good gatekeeper in Cheick Kongo (14-6-1 MMA, 7-4 UFC) and a top ten heavyweight in Nogueira, it’s starting to look like a serious argument for the top contender position, or at least a very interesting matchup with the loser of the matchup between Mir and Carwin.

At the bottom of the ladder, though still a very interesting opponent (who, in another time, could have been a contender for the belt as his resume stands now), is Junior dos Santos (10-1 MMA, 4-0 UFC, #6 IWMMAR). He has four straight finishes in the UFC, all over fighters who are respected by hardcore fans. Mirko “CroCop” Filipovic (26-7-2-1 MMA, 3-3 UFC) isn’t the fighter he used to be, but to beat a solid K-1 veteran standing up is respectable, and beating three, once you add Dutch kickboxers Gilbert Yvel (36-14-1-1 MMA, 0-1 UFC) and Stefan Struve (19-3 MMA, 3-1 UFC), basically makes dos Santos the top dog among strikers in a UFC heavyweight division that sees a lot of striking. While pretty much any of the other top fighters (Lesnar, Mir, Carwin or Velasquez) would definitely look to get a fight with Cigano to the ground, that’s what makes Cigano an interesting opponent for them. Junior’s standup is intimidating, even for the top guys in the division, and the fact that he can knock out a guy coming in on him, like he did with Fabricio Werdum (13-4 MMA, 2-2 UFC, #9 IWMMAR), makes him a much more interesting opponent. I’m not entirely sure what level his jiu-jitsu is at, though I hope to find out when he takes on world champion blackbelt Gabriel Gonzaga (11-4 MMA, 7-3 UFC) later this month.

This is not the UFC’s best division. Not even close. It’s hard to say if it ever has been. However, the division is stronger than it was a year ago, definitely than it was two years ago. It’s an interesting ladder right now, with a number of solid competitors and some solid matchups. Any matchup of these four fighters will make for a great bout, and any matchup of these four fighters with Brock will make for a matchup worth talking about, and worth watching. With Brock’s health a serious question, any opponent is interesting, but these are some good stylistic matchups and they’d make for a test for Brock even if his health wasn’t a matter of speculation. It’s definitely a better division than it used to be, and there’s something to be said for that.

Some people may have noticed that Shane Carwin doesn’t have a ranking from the Independent World MMA Ranking panel. Carwin was ineligible to be ranked this month as he has been inactive for twelve months. He will regain his eligibility for the April rankings when he fights Frank Mir on the 27th. In February, when Carwin was last eligible, he was ranked at #5, above Brett Rogers and below Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira.

In addition to the numerous MMA web sites that publish the Independent World MMA Rankings, you can also access the rankings at any time by going to www.IndependentWorldMMARankings.com.

Some of the best and most knowledgeable MMA writers from across the MMA media landscape have come together to form one independent voting panel. These voting panel members are, in alphabetical order: Zach Arnold (Fight Opinion); Nicholas Bailey (MMA Ratings); Jared Barnes (Freelance); Jordan Breen (Sherdog); Jim Genia (Full Contact Fighter, MMA Memories, and MMA Journalist Blog); Jesse Holland (MMA Mania); Robert Joyner (Freelance); Todd Martin (CBS Sportsline); Jim Murphy (The Savage Science); Zac Robinson (Sports by the Numbers MMA); Leland Roling (Bloody Elbow); Michael David
Smith (AOL Fanhouse); Joshua Stein (MMA Opinion); Ivan Trembow (Freelance); and Dave Walsh (Head Kick Legend).

Note: Shane Carwin and Quinton Jackson are temporarily ineligible to be ranked, due to the fact that they have been inactive for over 12 full months, and will regain their eligibility the next time they fight.

March 2010 Independent World MMA Rankings
Ballots collected on March 9, 2010

Heavyweight Rankings (206 to 265 lbs.)
1. Fedor Emelianenko (31-1, 1 No Contest)
2. Brock Lesnar (4-1)
3. Frank Mir (13-4)
4. Cain Velasquez (8-0)
5. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (32-6-1, 1 No Contest)
6. Junior dos Santos (10-1)
7. Brett Rogers (10-1)
8. Alistair Overeem (32-11, 1 No Contest)
9. Fabricio Werdum (13-4-1)
10. Andrei Arlovski (15-7)

Light Heavyweight Rankings (186 to 205 lbs.)
1. Lyoto Machida (16-0)
2. Mauricio “Shogun” Rua (18-4)
3. Rashad Evans (14-1-1)
4. Anderson Silva (25-4)
5. Gegard Mousasi (27-2-1)
6. Forrest Griffin (17-6)
7. Antonio Rogerio Nogueira (18-3)
8. Dan Henderson (25-7)
9. Thiago Silva (14-2)
10. Vitor Belfort (19-8)

Middleweight Rankings (171 to 185 lbs.)
1. Anderson Silva (25-4)
2. Dan Henderson (25-7)
3. Chael Sonnen (24-10-1)
4. Vitor Belfort (19-8)
5. Nathan Marquardt (29-9-2)
6. Demian Maia (12-1)
7. Jake Shields (24-4-1)
8. Robbie Lawler (17-5, 1 No Contest)
9. Yushin Okami (23-5)
10. Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza (11-2, 1 No Contest)

Welterweight Rankings (156 to 170 lbs.)
1. Georges St. Pierre (19-2)
2. Jon Fitch (21-3, 1 No Contest)
3. Thiago Alves (16-6)
4. Josh Koscheck (14-4)
5. Paulo Thiago (13-1)
6. Dan Hardy (23-6)
7. Nick Diaz (21-7, 1 No Contest)
8. Matt Hughes (43-7)
9. Paul Daley (23-8-2)
10. Matt Serra (10-6)

Lightweight Rankings (146 to 155 lbs.)
1. B.J. Penn (15-5-1)
2. Shinya Aoki (23-4, 1 No Contest)
3. Eddie Alvarez (19-2)
4. Kenny Florian (12-4)
5. Tatsuya Kawajiri (26-5-2)
6. Gray Maynard (9-0, 1 No Contest)
7. Frankie Edgar (11-1)
8. Diego Sanchez (21-3)
9. Gilbert Melendez (17-2)
10. Joachim Hansen (19-8-1)

Featherweight Rankings (136 to 145 lbs.)
1. Jose Aldo (16-1)
2. Mike Brown (23-5)
3. Urijah Faber (23-3)
4. Hatsu Hioki (20-4-2)
5. Bibiano Fernandes (7-2)
6. Marlon Sandro (16-1)
7. “Lion” Takeshi Inoue (18-3)
8. Raphael Assuncao (14-2)
9. Manny Gamburyan (10-4)
10. Michihiro Omigawa (9-8-1)

Bantamweight Rankings (126 to 135 lbs.)
1. Dominick Cruz (15-1)
2. Brian Bowles (8-1)
3. Joseph Benavidez (12-1)
4. Miguel Torres (37-3)
5. Masakatsu Ueda (10-0-2)
6. Scott Jorgensen (9-3)
7. Takeya Mizugaki (12-4-2)
8. Damacio Page (15-4)
9. Wagnney Fabiano (13-2)
10. Akitoshi Tamura (14-8-2)

The Independent World MMA Rankings are tabulated on a monthly basis in each of the top seven weight classes of MMA, from heavyweight to bantamweight, with fighters receiving ten points for a first-place vote, nine points for a second-place vote, and so on.

The rankings are based purely on the votes of the members of the voting panel, with nobody’s vote counting more than anybody else’s vote, and no computerized voting.

The voters are instructed to vote primarily based on fighters’ actual accomplishments in the cage/ring (the quality of opposition that they’ve actually beaten), not based on a broad, subjective perception of which fighters would theoretically win hypothetical match-ups.

Inactivity: Fighters who have not fought in the past 12 months are not eligible to be ranked, and will regain their eligibility the next time they fight.

Disciplinary Suspensions: Fighters who are currently serving disciplinary suspensions, or who have been denied a license for drug
test or disciplinary reasons, are not eligible to be ranked.

Changing Weight Classes: When a fighter announces that he is leaving one weight class in order to fight in another weight class, the fighter is not eligible to be ranked in the new weight class until he has his first fight in the new weight class.

Catch Weight Fights: When fights are contested at weights that are in between the limits of the various weight classes, they are considered to be in the higher weight class. The weight limits for each weight class are listed at the top of the rankings for each weight class.

Special thanks to Eric Kamander, Zach Arnold, and Joshua Stein for their invaluable help with this project, and special thanks to Garrett Bailey for designing our logo.

Click here to view the embedded video.